The past three months have left my heart a bloody mess. I have been grateful for the many luxuries we have in this country, the many conveniences and the right to speak our minds but my heart has been squeezed day in and day out by the way I live my life. I had no part in deciding where I was to be born, where I was to grow up, how much money my family did or didn't have, what education I was given but all of these were provided to me in abundance simply because I was born in this country. That is where my heart bleeds.
I've mentioned before that being in some of the materialistically, poorest times of my life, I've been the most fulfilled and truly felt the most rich. And sure there are times when I feel I'm not treated with respect, times when I feel others are rude or ungrateful toward me but it's taken me 24 years to realize I deserve every single bit of it. I've been rude, I've stolen, I've lusted and been greedy, I've coveted and committed murder in my heart. All of the above, I'm guilty. And if the consequences of guilt is death, then I'm dead.
I see the news, the people in desperate need in other countries; the atrocities in Sudan and Darfur, the child trafficking world wide and the appalling nature that we humans can even descend to. We live in a culture where we can hear of an innocent baby being molested and then we have the nerve to say morality is relative? The cold hard truth is it's in our very NATURE! We cause our own destruction with our thoughts and our selfishness. If there's nothing in it for me, then there's nothing I'll give to you. We'd kill each other for a piece of bread instead of share it and risk dying together.
My heart is yearning to bring grace to those children and people who have never seen grace. My heart grows and yet bleeds more as I see people even in this very city who've grown up in poverty and have learned to live the streets, fighting and looking over their shoulders every day.
And can you believe it? This is the country where we need lower taxes, where we need free health care, where we need to drive nicer cars and buy bigger houses. This is where we are so tired that we buy coffee every day to fill our bodies with caffeine we don't need while children are dying every four seconds from starvation around the world. We fill ourselves with pride at the accomplishments we achieve, the money we make, the things we're able to buy and we fight on and continue to achieve such results.
If it's one thing I've felt a pull at stronger than anything recently, it's to let it all go. To sell everything, to give it all away and to move to a distant place where people will appreciate grace and love. Where people appreciate clean water and a hug. And where people will actually read about the love of Jesus Christ and see the truth of the man behind the pages.
As guilty as I am, I'm deserving of no respect, no mercy and no love but I praise God each and every day that He sent His one and only son to die in place of my failures. That He knew we were destined to fail for the one who is ruler of this world has us so tight in his grasp that we can't even see the lies from truth. We're so tight in his grasp that we will sin destructively until our bodies can't take it and our spirits are starving for the affection of our creator. We'll turn our back time and time again, we'll pretend there never needed to be a beginning, we'll pretend we can create our own destiny or create our own morality and then we'll turn and administer justice by putting another man to death who lived out his own relative, moral lifestyle. And this is what we call the soon to be evolution of overman. We'll kill ourselves before we ever make it to such absurdity.
But I tell you, there is nothing truer in this world than the love of Jesus Christ. Than the love that the one true God, the creator of our intellect and entire world, showed to us as he was beaten and whipped until he was unrecognizable and then placed to be publicly crucified on a cross. The love of a God that has beaten death by the resurrection of Christ three days later. And we turn a blind selfish eye to Him and his children because of our self proclaimed righteousness. Because we are "good enough." We are "good people." But to a Holy God? There is nothing that is as dirty and as filthy as we are. And yet He loves us?
Sure some of us give money or time to the people in need. But how many of us give our life? I know I haven't. But my heart has been given to the one true God, to which all things will be reconciled and to which all men should seek repentance.
I don't want my life to be the same after knowing the truth. I won't let it be. And I pray you do the same. If you've never given a second thought to knowing who Jesus Christ is, for your own sake, take some time and find out or ask someone who knows because we are a crooked and depraved generation and we don't even see it.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Identity in Christ
I safely assume that there are many of us who have experienced a shock in their life that has turned their world slightly or drastically upside-down. Whether it be the loss of a job, a loved one or some other would be 'freak accident', we tend to be confused and at times lost in our thoughts of our purposeful next steps. The only actions we're left to do are to endure on and accept change or to fall behind and allow change to overcome us. Realistically, endurance is the only option in allowing change to produce fruit in our life otherwise we simply rot away.
One of my favorite biblical quotes is written by James, the half-brother of Jesus.
James 1:2-4 "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."
It's completely backwards in culture to be joyful in times of hard lessons and life challenges but this passage really speaks to those who are enduring because of their faith. Faith has been a hard thing to grasp for me and although I'd say that I live my life by faith, we all can be discouraged and we all fall short of perfection. But enduring through the various trials is what creates in us a better person, character and heart and we must wait patiently for that endurance to mature into the person we're supposed to be.
By Hebrews 11, faith is the reality of what is hoped for and the proof of what is not seen. In my life, my faith lies in the reality that I'm uniquely endowed with my gifts, skills and passions in order to achieve what God intends for me to achieve. But my achievements in that same reality do not create an identity within me. Although I may organize, write, or plan, I am not defined as an Organizer, Writer or Planner. I am still defined outwardly as a Christian and I hope that in my practices, the truth of that is demonstrated through my actions. I have realized that if my life is lived in the pursuant of Christ and in spreading the good news of His life, my identity does not exist outside of that purpose and pride should be non-existant.
I write all this because the current trials I'm experiencing are truly testing my faith, building my endurance and helping me understand my identity. Even in the writing of my resume, I find explanations restrictive. But just as my resume explains what I can do, it can't explain who I am. Who I am can only be understood by spending time near me. This is especially true of Jesus but in a different sense. By spending time reading His words and what people spoke of Him, we experience a Resume of infinite proportions. We walk into the presence of a man who loved easier and longer than any could have loved. He gave grace to people who didn't deserve it and skillfully humbled those who boasted with their empty resumes. He did all this until He had accomplished what was necessary; dying in place of us.
To those of you who are experiencing a chapter in your life that is similar to mine, I encourage you to continue on fighting the fight knowing that this is a test of our faith and it is a joy to know that these tests are what make us stronger. Without trials, we do not grow. The stronger the trial that we endure, the stronger the results. We must learn, teach and endure until what we are sent here to accomplish is finished. Until then, we surely know that there is more in store for us and we must seek His will for our lives.
Psalms 146
"Hallelujah!
My soul, praise the Lord.
I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing to my God as long as I live.
Do not trust in nobles,
in man, who cannot save.
When his breath leaves him,
he returns to the ground;
on that day his plans die.
Happy is the one whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea and everything in them,
He remains faithful forever,
executing justice for the exploited
and giving food to the hungry.
The Lord frees prisoners.
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord raised up those who are oppressed.
The Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord protects foreigners
and helps the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The Lord reigns forever;
Zion, your God, reigns for all generations.
Hallelujah!"
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Ariana's Engagement Testimony
On september 2nd 2010, I was overwhelmed with expectations. I was mad at God. I had expectations about my roommates and living situation, my relationship with Brandon, my $12,000 car loan, my quarterly IRS payment, my commitment to the church and bible studies, my birthday, even about cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, my room, email the elementary Pastor about not being there on sunday and realizing that I forgot to tell him before friday about me not being there on sunday. I was even stressed about showering. (Brandon: She only showers once a week, it's a big deal!)
Because I had prayed for these things, I had expected God to immediately answer all my prayers. I pray and Ariana has a deadline, so she need answers. I wasn't getting any answers. I was upset. I was willing to listen to Him but he wasn't talking loud enough. It just so happened that my friend, and sister in Christ, Chelsea sent me a text message in the middle of me freaking out and being upset at God, asking me if Brandon knew her brother. And I said I don't know. And she said because he's in a random picture with Brandon, and I said I still don't know, I'll call him. She asked me how are you? I said not good, life is trying to kick my butt and I don't like it. I asked her to pray with me and she did and she told me to call Brandon even though I didn't want to. I did anyway. I told brandon what a hot mess I was, and I gave him a list of all the expectations I had He would help me. We both prayed after that and nothing felt answered. I was still confused and full of expectations without answers from God. (who I treated like a genie in a bottle)
We drove to Hume Lake Christian camp on september 4th 2010, at 4am. We arrived after 1pm and attended worship and Chapel at 8:30pm with Pastor Chuck Bomar and the entire theme of the bible study was “Excusey Mwa! It's not about me, it's about God.” I prayed:
I'm sorry for not trusting you God, and your promises, I know you want me to enjoy my time with Brandon and I know you want the best for me. Papa, if that means I have to wait for your time, I will. Please help me do that. Today, I learned that there is a process to the way you want me to live my life and I know I'm rushing the journey. I also lift Brandon up in prayer for his job, living situation and our relationship and God's will for Brandon's life. I also pray that God will give Brandon the patience to enjoy our journey together. Thank you Jesus for taking all the selfish desires from our hearts. Amen.
I realized that instead of asking God for His will for my life, I asked him and chose the decisions that made the most sense and that lined up correctly with what I thought was most comfortable, instead of what God wanted. I chose the decisions that the world would logically make sense of instead of choosing what God's will is. At times God's will may prove to be difficult but will always be the best decision in the end.
September 5th 2010
On Septermber 5th, 2010, I wrote a small prayer during chapel:
I need to be faithful to God today. Instead of asking him what my future looks like I should ask and be faithful with what I have today. Matthew 6:34 Tomorrow will worry about itself.
After chapel, our friends went out on the lake with a few boats and Brandon went to take a nap. I had time to do a study by myself and I laid down all my expectations in this prayer to God:
Father God, my goal is to know you, Christ. To be more like you and to be all Christ has in mind for me. Father, I want to grow in the knowledge of God and to concentrate on my relationship with Jesus Christ right now. I love Hume lake. Papa, can you help me have the same discipline I have here, back home in Las Vegas. God I desire to spend more than just 5 or 10 minutes a day with you. I would like to lift up all my expectations with you, here I go...I want blessings from you at all times because I think I'm doing things right, I like to pretend I am the creator and not the creation which means I look to myself to get things done. When i get married, I expect to be married to Brandon Alderman. I expect people to grow in their walk with you when they claim to know scripture. I expect you to heal my brother and Michele, for my mom to have a relationship with you, for you to provide a roommate for Beth and I. We want to live at the condo for another 6 months. I say I don't want a big ring but I expect one, I expect a perfectly healthy intimate relationship with Brandon.
After my time alone with God, we all went on an afternoon bike-ride around the gorgeous lake with my future fiance and friends. It was amazing experiencing and reveling in God's creation and beauty. After the bike-ride, I screamed at the top of my lungs down a zip-line and then got ready for more worship and chapel.
This is what we learned at chapel. That my life is no longer about me. The debt of my sin was bought with a price that Jesus paid in His death on the cross, therefor my life is no longer about me, it never has been, it never is, and never will be about me. It is eternally about what God is doing.
When the pastor was done preaching, I felt lead to talk to him. I didn't know what I needed to talk to the him about but I knew that the Holy Spirit was leading me to speak with Pastor Chuck. So Brandon and I approached him after service and we started talking to him about how God was speaking through him to teach me about my convictions and I had no idea why else I was talking to him. The need was still there and so we started telling him about the relationship Brandon and I have. Brandon told him we were experiencing a lot of opposition in our relationship. We didn't know where we were to go next, we didn't feel financial stable to pay for a wedding or for wedding/engagement rings and we didn't know what our next steps should be. The pastor opened our eyes to the things that were right in front of us. He made us aware that we were letting money rule our lives. That without money, we would never be married and in return, we were letting money be our God as it made the decisions for us. We could not serve two God's at the same time; the God of the world and the God of money. He even offered to marry us on the spot!
He revealed to us that a big wedding and a diamond ring are not going to glorify God and the only thing that will glorify God better than anything else is the commitment of man and woman to God through marriage; to lift each other up, to pray for one another and to go to God in prayer and thanksgiving for everything he has for us. We will be wed to each other, through thick and thin, with or without money and money had no right to hold us back from glorifying God through our Godly relationship. God revealed to us through Pastor Chuck that in waiting for money, we were causing each other to sin in lust and other unnecessary areas. It all made sense and we were blind to it until now.
We felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of our shoulders. We prayed together and decided to sleep on all we've learned and all that was revealed to us over the course of the night. In the morning, Brandon knocked on the girls cabin door and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. As I walked, I told myself, this is why I get disappointed, because of my expectations. I didn't think Brandon would propose to me because I was so convinced in my head that we had been given these things that were revealed to us, but we didn't know what to do with them yet. We walked down toward the lake and stood in the grass thanking God for such an amazing weekend, we stood in awe of the view across the lake with the rolling fog along the water and the beautiful morning sky. I figured brandon and I were going to do a bible study by the lake until he started to talk. He said:
This has been one of the best weekends of my life. God has revealed things to us that I never expected and wasn't prepared for. I have no plans. I have no ring and I don't know what I'm doing but I know that I'm not going to let the enemy steal another day from us. And although I don't know where this will lead, I'm walking by faith and I'll at least do this part the traditional way.
He got down on one knee in the middle of the grassy field and asked me: “Ariana, will you marry me?”
And of course I said: “YES!” I could hardly remember what had been said or where we were. I had tears in my eyes and was so happy to know that we were finally following God's plan without following the attitude of the world.
After the walk, we went to breakfast and met back up with our friends. I was still in shock and beyond happy but I didn't say anything to anyone. I went to the cabin and Sabrina and Sarah were there. I couldn't help but scream at the top of my lungs that we were engaged! Sabrina offered to pray with me to rebuke the devil of any discouragement and to praise God for our engagement. I felt that because of where we were, the camp and the fellowship we had reinforced what God was doing in our lives. His presence, His power and His love was so apparent in the friends I was with that even the girls at another cabin that I didn't even know were rejoicing. God was being glorified through our engagement and we had the opportunity to go to Chapel and worship to sing more amazing songs that declared how wonderful God is.
The Message Chuck gave was about our arrogance as followers of Christ or humans in general. 1 Peter 5:8 talks about the enemy that prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. A lion doesn't devour it's prey in one bite but devours it bite by bite, one step at a time. Just like the enemy works to try and make us follow ourselves, in our own earthly desires and lust, or need/want for money or to have control, it all consumes us one step at a time but in reality, we have no control and to think we do is arrogance. That is all the devil needs in order to take over our lives; he wants us to concentrate on ourselves. We tried to control the timing of our engagement and relationship and God had other plans.
We realized the safest place is right where God wants us to be, not where we want to be. We are to take a step of faith through His plan, before the right circumstances are in our favor.
Because I had prayed for these things, I had expected God to immediately answer all my prayers. I pray and Ariana has a deadline, so she need answers. I wasn't getting any answers. I was upset. I was willing to listen to Him but he wasn't talking loud enough. It just so happened that my friend, and sister in Christ, Chelsea sent me a text message in the middle of me freaking out and being upset at God, asking me if Brandon knew her brother. And I said I don't know. And she said because he's in a random picture with Brandon, and I said I still don't know, I'll call him. She asked me how are you? I said not good, life is trying to kick my butt and I don't like it. I asked her to pray with me and she did and she told me to call Brandon even though I didn't want to. I did anyway. I told brandon what a hot mess I was, and I gave him a list of all the expectations I had He would help me. We both prayed after that and nothing felt answered. I was still confused and full of expectations without answers from God. (who I treated like a genie in a bottle)
We drove to Hume Lake Christian camp on september 4th 2010, at 4am. We arrived after 1pm and attended worship and Chapel at 8:30pm with Pastor Chuck Bomar and the entire theme of the bible study was “Excusey Mwa! It's not about me, it's about God.” I prayed:
I'm sorry for not trusting you God, and your promises, I know you want me to enjoy my time with Brandon and I know you want the best for me. Papa, if that means I have to wait for your time, I will. Please help me do that. Today, I learned that there is a process to the way you want me to live my life and I know I'm rushing the journey. I also lift Brandon up in prayer for his job, living situation and our relationship and God's will for Brandon's life. I also pray that God will give Brandon the patience to enjoy our journey together. Thank you Jesus for taking all the selfish desires from our hearts. Amen.
I realized that instead of asking God for His will for my life, I asked him and chose the decisions that made the most sense and that lined up correctly with what I thought was most comfortable, instead of what God wanted. I chose the decisions that the world would logically make sense of instead of choosing what God's will is. At times God's will may prove to be difficult but will always be the best decision in the end.
September 5th 2010
On Septermber 5th, 2010, I wrote a small prayer during chapel:
I need to be faithful to God today. Instead of asking him what my future looks like I should ask and be faithful with what I have today. Matthew 6:34 Tomorrow will worry about itself.
After chapel, our friends went out on the lake with a few boats and Brandon went to take a nap. I had time to do a study by myself and I laid down all my expectations in this prayer to God:
Father God, my goal is to know you, Christ. To be more like you and to be all Christ has in mind for me. Father, I want to grow in the knowledge of God and to concentrate on my relationship with Jesus Christ right now. I love Hume lake. Papa, can you help me have the same discipline I have here, back home in Las Vegas. God I desire to spend more than just 5 or 10 minutes a day with you. I would like to lift up all my expectations with you, here I go...I want blessings from you at all times because I think I'm doing things right, I like to pretend I am the creator and not the creation which means I look to myself to get things done. When i get married, I expect to be married to Brandon Alderman. I expect people to grow in their walk with you when they claim to know scripture. I expect you to heal my brother and Michele, for my mom to have a relationship with you, for you to provide a roommate for Beth and I. We want to live at the condo for another 6 months. I say I don't want a big ring but I expect one, I expect a perfectly healthy intimate relationship with Brandon.
After my time alone with God, we all went on an afternoon bike-ride around the gorgeous lake with my future fiance and friends. It was amazing experiencing and reveling in God's creation and beauty. After the bike-ride, I screamed at the top of my lungs down a zip-line and then got ready for more worship and chapel.
This is what we learned at chapel. That my life is no longer about me. The debt of my sin was bought with a price that Jesus paid in His death on the cross, therefor my life is no longer about me, it never has been, it never is, and never will be about me. It is eternally about what God is doing.
When the pastor was done preaching, I felt lead to talk to him. I didn't know what I needed to talk to the him about but I knew that the Holy Spirit was leading me to speak with Pastor Chuck. So Brandon and I approached him after service and we started talking to him about how God was speaking through him to teach me about my convictions and I had no idea why else I was talking to him. The need was still there and so we started telling him about the relationship Brandon and I have. Brandon told him we were experiencing a lot of opposition in our relationship. We didn't know where we were to go next, we didn't feel financial stable to pay for a wedding or for wedding/engagement rings and we didn't know what our next steps should be. The pastor opened our eyes to the things that were right in front of us. He made us aware that we were letting money rule our lives. That without money, we would never be married and in return, we were letting money be our God as it made the decisions for us. We could not serve two God's at the same time; the God of the world and the God of money. He even offered to marry us on the spot!
He revealed to us that a big wedding and a diamond ring are not going to glorify God and the only thing that will glorify God better than anything else is the commitment of man and woman to God through marriage; to lift each other up, to pray for one another and to go to God in prayer and thanksgiving for everything he has for us. We will be wed to each other, through thick and thin, with or without money and money had no right to hold us back from glorifying God through our Godly relationship. God revealed to us through Pastor Chuck that in waiting for money, we were causing each other to sin in lust and other unnecessary areas. It all made sense and we were blind to it until now.
We felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of our shoulders. We prayed together and decided to sleep on all we've learned and all that was revealed to us over the course of the night. In the morning, Brandon knocked on the girls cabin door and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. As I walked, I told myself, this is why I get disappointed, because of my expectations. I didn't think Brandon would propose to me because I was so convinced in my head that we had been given these things that were revealed to us, but we didn't know what to do with them yet. We walked down toward the lake and stood in the grass thanking God for such an amazing weekend, we stood in awe of the view across the lake with the rolling fog along the water and the beautiful morning sky. I figured brandon and I were going to do a bible study by the lake until he started to talk. He said:
This has been one of the best weekends of my life. God has revealed things to us that I never expected and wasn't prepared for. I have no plans. I have no ring and I don't know what I'm doing but I know that I'm not going to let the enemy steal another day from us. And although I don't know where this will lead, I'm walking by faith and I'll at least do this part the traditional way.
He got down on one knee in the middle of the grassy field and asked me: “Ariana, will you marry me?”
And of course I said: “YES!” I could hardly remember what had been said or where we were. I had tears in my eyes and was so happy to know that we were finally following God's plan without following the attitude of the world.
After the walk, we went to breakfast and met back up with our friends. I was still in shock and beyond happy but I didn't say anything to anyone. I went to the cabin and Sabrina and Sarah were there. I couldn't help but scream at the top of my lungs that we were engaged! Sabrina offered to pray with me to rebuke the devil of any discouragement and to praise God for our engagement. I felt that because of where we were, the camp and the fellowship we had reinforced what God was doing in our lives. His presence, His power and His love was so apparent in the friends I was with that even the girls at another cabin that I didn't even know were rejoicing. God was being glorified through our engagement and we had the opportunity to go to Chapel and worship to sing more amazing songs that declared how wonderful God is.
The Message Chuck gave was about our arrogance as followers of Christ or humans in general. 1 Peter 5:8 talks about the enemy that prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. A lion doesn't devour it's prey in one bite but devours it bite by bite, one step at a time. Just like the enemy works to try and make us follow ourselves, in our own earthly desires and lust, or need/want for money or to have control, it all consumes us one step at a time but in reality, we have no control and to think we do is arrogance. That is all the devil needs in order to take over our lives; he wants us to concentrate on ourselves. We tried to control the timing of our engagement and relationship and God had other plans.
We realized the safest place is right where God wants us to be, not where we want to be. We are to take a step of faith through His plan, before the right circumstances are in our favor.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Never Enough
A man named Jesus spoke on mountain tops, in boats in seas, He talked in small and large crowds about the truth and people gathered around Him to see miracles. The acts He performed, we only dream of:
He cured the blind, lepers, paralytics, bleeding and diseased.
He raised the dead.
He walked on water and calmed a storm.
He fed 5000 people, with five loaves of bread, and two fish.
What amazes me about that last one and some of the others is the reaction of the crowds afterward. 5000 followers were miraculously filled with food and yet what was their response?
'What more can you show us so we'll believe?'(Paraphrased John 6:30)
I carry this idea over in life. The idea that we never have enough. This is a human condition. The craving, and insatiable desire of the flesh. We have not enough money, not enough house, yes ladies even not enough shoes. It's just not enough happiness. We want more signs, we want more money we want more external goods to satisfy our soul. Even Aristotle thought it was silly:"Some think that a very moderate amount of virtue is enough, but set no limit to their desires of wealth, property, power, reputation, and the like."
There are a lot of people hurting, whether in our heart or in physical pain. We come from all walks of life, we are raised in difference houses, with different principles but we all share the same pain of seeking happiness and never truly finding it. Think about that, have you found happiness? Or are you even looking for it?
Jesus responded to these crowds after they wanted more and more miracles. He said:
"I am the bread of life, No one who comes to Me will ever be hungry, and no one who believes in Me will ever be thirsty again. But as I told you, you've seen Me, and yet you do not believe. Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me. This is the will of Him who sent Me: that I should lose none of those He has given Me but should raise them up on the last day. For this is the will of My father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
We seek to drink alcohol for fun until we pass out. We seek to steal the sacrality of sex from marriage to please our empty desires. We want perfect relationships and we seek them from imperfect people. We work 14 hour days to accumulate wealth and miss the priceless youth of our children. We watch Television daily and call it quality family time. We even eat until we have to change into elastic sweat pants!
What is the reality of it all? Without TV, we can hear the cries of our children or spouses. Without alcohol, we're not abusive, but we're happily sober and healthy. By living within our monetary means, we don't have debt haunting our dreams. By not chasing sex we seek other ways to fill that hole in our hearts. And I tell you from experience. The only way to fill that hole in your heart, is by eating of the bread of life.
I ask myself this daily. What is it that I'm seeking to fill my holes and how often does it fail to fill me? Filling my desires with this world fails me repeatedly. The love that Jesus Christ displayed in His torture, death and resurrection is the only desire that promises and delivers.
Believe it or not, there is no strength in denying that we need a savior. I've been on the other end of that stick and my true strength came when I gave my life to Him. Don't go another day without Him.
He cured the blind, lepers, paralytics, bleeding and diseased.
He raised the dead.
He walked on water and calmed a storm.
He fed 5000 people, with five loaves of bread, and two fish.
What amazes me about that last one and some of the others is the reaction of the crowds afterward. 5000 followers were miraculously filled with food and yet what was their response?
'What more can you show us so we'll believe?'(Paraphrased John 6:30)
I carry this idea over in life. The idea that we never have enough. This is a human condition. The craving, and insatiable desire of the flesh. We have not enough money, not enough house, yes ladies even not enough shoes. It's just not enough happiness. We want more signs, we want more money we want more external goods to satisfy our soul. Even Aristotle thought it was silly:"Some think that a very moderate amount of virtue is enough, but set no limit to their desires of wealth, property, power, reputation, and the like."
There are a lot of people hurting, whether in our heart or in physical pain. We come from all walks of life, we are raised in difference houses, with different principles but we all share the same pain of seeking happiness and never truly finding it. Think about that, have you found happiness? Or are you even looking for it?
Jesus responded to these crowds after they wanted more and more miracles. He said:
"I am the bread of life, No one who comes to Me will ever be hungry, and no one who believes in Me will ever be thirsty again. But as I told you, you've seen Me, and yet you do not believe. Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me. This is the will of Him who sent Me: that I should lose none of those He has given Me but should raise them up on the last day. For this is the will of My father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
We seek to drink alcohol for fun until we pass out. We seek to steal the sacrality of sex from marriage to please our empty desires. We want perfect relationships and we seek them from imperfect people. We work 14 hour days to accumulate wealth and miss the priceless youth of our children. We watch Television daily and call it quality family time. We even eat until we have to change into elastic sweat pants!
What is the reality of it all? Without TV, we can hear the cries of our children or spouses. Without alcohol, we're not abusive, but we're happily sober and healthy. By living within our monetary means, we don't have debt haunting our dreams. By not chasing sex we seek other ways to fill that hole in our hearts. And I tell you from experience. The only way to fill that hole in your heart, is by eating of the bread of life.
I ask myself this daily. What is it that I'm seeking to fill my holes and how often does it fail to fill me? Filling my desires with this world fails me repeatedly. The love that Jesus Christ displayed in His torture, death and resurrection is the only desire that promises and delivers.
Believe it or not, there is no strength in denying that we need a savior. I've been on the other end of that stick and my true strength came when I gave my life to Him. Don't go another day without Him.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Afraid to Die
Leadership has been an interesting topic for me lately as I've had the extra time to read. I see it active in public speaking, standing out in the crowd, making important decisions and standing behind them. Leaders move people to action. They lift spirits and create a focus toward accomplishment. Leaders promote teamwork and without leaders, we would all be lost.
But what is a leader, truly? I can scan the television, read the newspapers or attend important meetings all in the course of a day but I can often spend an entire week without ever seeing a leader. Leadership isn't just a theory, it isn't a black suit, it's a personality. It's character in action. I see people following ideas or getting excited about a collection of words spoken with fervor but where are the true examples of leadership? We are sheep who look around and see a valley of never-ending wool. We can never pinpoint a shepherd. Some of us run in one direction, and the herd follows in hopes of finding a leader. What if those of us in the middle of the herd made our way to the edge, would we find the shepherd we seek? I think we'd find more sheep.
Why is it that we have leaders in history that stood up for their beliefs and yet today, I can't name a leader that will stand long enough to take constructive criticism.
JFK - As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
Martin Luther King Jr. - A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
Abraham Lincoln - I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.
Mahatma Gandhi - A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.
Jesus - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
It's obvious what's common among the few men listed above. They stood in the face of adversity and were killed for their unwavering stances. Today, all I see is make-believe leaders. No one stands firm in their beliefs. Those in the limelight, able to make the biggest change in this world are not willing to take a stand and stay standing even when bullets fly.
It's as simple as that; they are afraid to die.
Know what I'd like to see in our leaders? Courage to make mistakes. Humility to accept our imperfections and the strength to make decisions anyway. Unwavering stances on morality and ethical practices. The ability to read and prevent problems instead of cleaning up the mess afterward. Compassion to love us enough to make tough decisions.
I think it's time to forge new leaders. No man is worth following if he'll deny you to save his own life. This new postmodernism idea is killing us one cheeseball at a time.
Stand up for your beliefs! Be open to new ideas but don't let pressure be the catalyst to change. Be the good shepherd who will lay down his life against the wolves who strive to take life away, not the hired hand.
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:11-15
But what is a leader, truly? I can scan the television, read the newspapers or attend important meetings all in the course of a day but I can often spend an entire week without ever seeing a leader. Leadership isn't just a theory, it isn't a black suit, it's a personality. It's character in action. I see people following ideas or getting excited about a collection of words spoken with fervor but where are the true examples of leadership? We are sheep who look around and see a valley of never-ending wool. We can never pinpoint a shepherd. Some of us run in one direction, and the herd follows in hopes of finding a leader. What if those of us in the middle of the herd made our way to the edge, would we find the shepherd we seek? I think we'd find more sheep.
Why is it that we have leaders in history that stood up for their beliefs and yet today, I can't name a leader that will stand long enough to take constructive criticism.
JFK - As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
Martin Luther King Jr. - A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
Abraham Lincoln - I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.
Mahatma Gandhi - A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.
Jesus - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
It's obvious what's common among the few men listed above. They stood in the face of adversity and were killed for their unwavering stances. Today, all I see is make-believe leaders. No one stands firm in their beliefs. Those in the limelight, able to make the biggest change in this world are not willing to take a stand and stay standing even when bullets fly.
It's as simple as that; they are afraid to die.
Know what I'd like to see in our leaders? Courage to make mistakes. Humility to accept our imperfections and the strength to make decisions anyway. Unwavering stances on morality and ethical practices. The ability to read and prevent problems instead of cleaning up the mess afterward. Compassion to love us enough to make tough decisions.
I think it's time to forge new leaders. No man is worth following if he'll deny you to save his own life. This new postmodernism idea is killing us one cheeseball at a time.
Stand up for your beliefs! Be open to new ideas but don't let pressure be the catalyst to change. Be the good shepherd who will lay down his life against the wolves who strive to take life away, not the hired hand.
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:11-15
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
On this rock
When someone asked me about my beliefs, I used to call myself a Christian who didn't like attending church. Sure I had some bad experiences like everyone else did but I laugh at the way I looked at the church when I was younger. Perhaps the churches I had attended at that age weren't quite as biblical as they could have been or I was blind but it reminds me of a story Pastor Shane shared. He told us how he was traveling by plane, sitting next to another gentleman and inevitably waiting for the exchange of questions about each others line of work. First the other man spoke of his work and then asked Shane what he did professionally. Shane's response was of course, I'm a pastor for a church in Las Vegas. The man replied, ah church, I don't like church, it's full of hypocrites. And the most interesting response I would never expected from a pastor was, yes, you're right, we are a bunch of hypocrites, and there is room for one more.
Like this man, my childhood was also centered around this idea that I was better than the church, I had God and I didn't need the church but man, was I missing the point. I was no different than the scribes and Pharisees as the famous words were spoken to the adulteress in John 8:7 - "The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her." I was throwing stones at the church yet I had no right to. What I now find church to be is a group of normal people who believe in a central purpose and are willing and able to help and love each other while in the process of becoming better people.
Not only was I missing that point, but I had never even questioned the idea of church. What is church? Why go to church? To me, it was a place to learn about the Bible, about history and Jesus and in my pride, I knew I could learn the bible just fine without someone teaching me what I'm not intelligent enough to read on my own. But my answers to what church is, what it is supposed to be, were wrong, and I set out to find the truth.
The Greek word used in the New Testament for church is "Ekklesia":
"An assembly of citizens summoned by the crier; the legislative assembly."
As Jesus called the church into being, by definition, He never spoke of creating a building where people met, but instead spoke of uniting people under one central purpose and understanding; the good news that Jesus Christ is the prophesied Messiah. He spoke to countless people on how to live a better life, how to love your neighbor and how to give abundantly. He told us that although we've sinned before, we are saved by grace and our lives are better lived without sin. The heart of Jesus has never been fully understood in the secular and even the spiritual world but the truth is 'Ekklesia' is the calling of all who believe in Him to demonstrate His love through community, gifting and fellowship.
I've attended four different 'churches' in the past month and what I've realized is that the church is separated now more than ever. We've separated ourselves by buildings and have become prideful in belonging to a specific church; I'm guilty as well. But the calling is to be one church, united for one cause. What 500 Christians can do in a city, 10,000 Christians can do better.
If we believe in Jesus' call to be the church, then we should start acting as one church, and not many. If you belong to a church, don't think of other churches as your competitors, but think of us all as your brothers and sisters for the same cause. Make an effort to attend a different church every once and a while, make new friends and believers in Christ.
If you don't belong to a church, find one and get involved. It seems intimidating at first but it's one of the best actions you'll take in your life. If you don't believe in God, I encourage you to ask yourself why, and seek truth.
If you do belong to a church, we need to forget the semantics and cling to the truth of what we all believe and take action where it is needed. This world is hurting and at times we don't see it through our american lenses but there is work to be done. Let's exercise our faith through our works. Love God, love your neighbors, give abundantly and be unselfish.
"But someone will say, 'You have faith, and I have works.' Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith from my works." -James 2:18
Like this man, my childhood was also centered around this idea that I was better than the church, I had God and I didn't need the church but man, was I missing the point. I was no different than the scribes and Pharisees as the famous words were spoken to the adulteress in John 8:7 - "The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her." I was throwing stones at the church yet I had no right to. What I now find church to be is a group of normal people who believe in a central purpose and are willing and able to help and love each other while in the process of becoming better people.
Not only was I missing that point, but I had never even questioned the idea of church. What is church? Why go to church? To me, it was a place to learn about the Bible, about history and Jesus and in my pride, I knew I could learn the bible just fine without someone teaching me what I'm not intelligent enough to read on my own. But my answers to what church is, what it is supposed to be, were wrong, and I set out to find the truth.
The Greek word used in the New Testament for church is "Ekklesia":
"An assembly of citizens summoned by the crier; the legislative assembly."
As Jesus called the church into being, by definition, He never spoke of creating a building where people met, but instead spoke of uniting people under one central purpose and understanding; the good news that Jesus Christ is the prophesied Messiah. He spoke to countless people on how to live a better life, how to love your neighbor and how to give abundantly. He told us that although we've sinned before, we are saved by grace and our lives are better lived without sin. The heart of Jesus has never been fully understood in the secular and even the spiritual world but the truth is 'Ekklesia' is the calling of all who believe in Him to demonstrate His love through community, gifting and fellowship.
I've attended four different 'churches' in the past month and what I've realized is that the church is separated now more than ever. We've separated ourselves by buildings and have become prideful in belonging to a specific church; I'm guilty as well. But the calling is to be one church, united for one cause. What 500 Christians can do in a city, 10,000 Christians can do better.
If we believe in Jesus' call to be the church, then we should start acting as one church, and not many. If you belong to a church, don't think of other churches as your competitors, but think of us all as your brothers and sisters for the same cause. Make an effort to attend a different church every once and a while, make new friends and believers in Christ.
If you don't belong to a church, find one and get involved. It seems intimidating at first but it's one of the best actions you'll take in your life. If you don't believe in God, I encourage you to ask yourself why, and seek truth.
If you do belong to a church, we need to forget the semantics and cling to the truth of what we all believe and take action where it is needed. This world is hurting and at times we don't see it through our american lenses but there is work to be done. Let's exercise our faith through our works. Love God, love your neighbors, give abundantly and be unselfish.
"But someone will say, 'You have faith, and I have works.' Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith from my works." -James 2:18
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Rooted in Solid Ground
On a daily basis, I'm reminded constantly that my faith can't reside in the temporal. There is no room for me to put my faith in jobs, in money, in relationships and other seemingly gratifying worldly things. Time and time again, although my hope and attitude does not change, the realization that I must ground myself in that which is immovable is becoming more and more apparent. Faith by definition is belief in a promise. For faith to exist, the promise must exist and in that, for faith to continue, the promise must always exist or faith is let down and delusional.
The conclusion seems silly but it's so detrimental to our life that we believe and have faith in that which on this earth, never ends so that we may continue to fight the fight in the face of adversity. What is hindering is placing my faith in those things that don't truly exist and will let me down. The more I put my faith in the ideas and things that ultimately fail, the more discouraged I can become in believing and hoping that this temporal life can indeed sustain me through the thick and thin.
I can watch a tree sway in the wind, rain and hail of a hurricane and not lose itself in the midst of the storm. I ask myself, what does it take to stand tall in the depths of such chaos? But what's easy to see, is that the tree doesn't place its faith in the sun which helps it grow, or in the water or soil that gives it nutrients, it places it's faith in the roots it's planted deep into the ground. The roots sustain the tree's life by gripping to that which is immovable and solid. When the storm comes, the sun, the nutrients and the water don't help the tree from falling prey to the wind; only the roots sustain it.
Like a tree, I can't place my faith in money that surely provides for me food, or relationships that surely help me grow but my faith must be rooted deeply in the never-ending truth: that God sustains me through His promises.
"Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who built his house on the rock. The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn't collapse, because its foundation was on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of Mine and doesn't act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, the rivers rose, the winds blew and pounded that house, and it collapsed. And its collapse was great!" Matthew 7:24-28
It takes money to live. Relationships are invaluable. Jobs and other worldly things give us the opportunity to live life more abundantly. But don't put your faith in the moveable objects, like sand, for they won't withstand the hurricane. Put your faith and trust in a God who knows the beginning and the end and will lead you to discover your purpose through His will. In the end, what is eternity compared to 100 years of life on earth? Put your faith in God and in what He's calling you to do. His purpose never fails.
The conclusion seems silly but it's so detrimental to our life that we believe and have faith in that which on this earth, never ends so that we may continue to fight the fight in the face of adversity. What is hindering is placing my faith in those things that don't truly exist and will let me down. The more I put my faith in the ideas and things that ultimately fail, the more discouraged I can become in believing and hoping that this temporal life can indeed sustain me through the thick and thin.
I can watch a tree sway in the wind, rain and hail of a hurricane and not lose itself in the midst of the storm. I ask myself, what does it take to stand tall in the depths of such chaos? But what's easy to see, is that the tree doesn't place its faith in the sun which helps it grow, or in the water or soil that gives it nutrients, it places it's faith in the roots it's planted deep into the ground. The roots sustain the tree's life by gripping to that which is immovable and solid. When the storm comes, the sun, the nutrients and the water don't help the tree from falling prey to the wind; only the roots sustain it.
Like a tree, I can't place my faith in money that surely provides for me food, or relationships that surely help me grow but my faith must be rooted deeply in the never-ending truth: that God sustains me through His promises.
"Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who built his house on the rock. The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn't collapse, because its foundation was on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of Mine and doesn't act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, the rivers rose, the winds blew and pounded that house, and it collapsed. And its collapse was great!" Matthew 7:24-28
It takes money to live. Relationships are invaluable. Jobs and other worldly things give us the opportunity to live life more abundantly. But don't put your faith in the moveable objects, like sand, for they won't withstand the hurricane. Put your faith and trust in a God who knows the beginning and the end and will lead you to discover your purpose through His will. In the end, what is eternity compared to 100 years of life on earth? Put your faith in God and in what He's calling you to do. His purpose never fails.
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